A MISTAKEN INFERENCE

One day an Irishman was seated in the waiting room of a station with a pipe in his mouth.One of the attendants drew his attention to the sign: " NO SMOKING."
" Well," said Pat," I"m not a-smokin."
" But you have a pipe in your mouth."
" Shure, an' I've shoes on my feet an' I'm not walkin."

LOSS BY INDEFERENCE

I have seen a good many people humbugged during my life and have been humbigged myself,but I have noticed that more persons,on the whole,are humbugged by believing in nothing than in believing in too much.

HABITUAL INDOLENCE

A lady philanthropist was applied to for charity by a well-dressed woman.
" Are you married? " was the question.
" Yes."
" What is your husband?"
" Out o' work."
" But what is he when he is in work?" asked the philanthropist.
" You don't understand, Miss," was the reply." He is a regular out-o-worker."-

LASTING INFLUENCE

Two workmen were talking about the head of a great industry who had just died and whose funeral was to be held that day.
"At exactly two o'clock everything in the shop is to come to a stop," one of them said."Not a wheel will turn for five minitues."
"Yes, that's what the boss said," replied the other."But there's one thing I guess, that's not going to stop even for a minitues."
"What's that?' asked the first,anxiously.
" His influence," was the reply.
The answer is arresting. Wheels may stop,industries close,human activities cease, but influence keeps right on.Nothing can stop that. Measured by standards of time, a man's life is seventy years, but measured by influence it may go on forever.

UNCONSCIOUS INFLUENCE

There is no doubt that by the thoughts we think we create an atmosphere around us by which people are influenced.If we continually think thoughts that are good, our lives will suggest goodness; if we continually think evil thoughts,our lives will suggest evil. If we are sad, it is a sad world.It all depends upon the person himself.A great thinker was asked, "What is happiness?"
And he answered," Where you are."

THE VALUE OF PUNCTUALITY

A tardy private secretary apoloized for his delay to work by saying,"My watch is out of order."
The boss replied: "You must get a new watch or I get a new secretary."
Nelson once said,"I owe all my success in life to having been always a quarter of an hour before time."

TWO WAYS OF TELLING

Some people take a long time to come to the point.Their path is so round about that it takes them sometime to arrive.The point is good and they are good but in this age of speed one cannot wait always to hear what it is all about.We want the message quick and we want it in good,straight, understandable English.
You may have heard of the motorist who was a stranger on the streets of Boston.It was night.A man approached the car and the following conversation took place :
" Sir." he said,"your beacon has ceased its functions."
"What ?" gasped the the astonished driver.
"Your illuminator,I say ,is shrouded in unmitigated oblivion."
"I don't quite -"
"The effulgence of your irradiator has evanesced."
" My dear fellow-"
" The transversal ether oscillations in your incandenser have been discontinued."
Just then a little newsboy came over and said,"Say, mister, yer light's out!"
Which is your model; the newsboy or the notable

RESULTS OF INITIATIVE

A little boy called at my house and offered some picture postcaeds for ten cents apiece.
"What are you going to do with the money?" I asked him
"I am raising one million dollars for the earthquake relief," he answered,gravely and he was so tiny and the sum he named was so large that I had to laugh.
"One million dollars?" I cried. "Do you expect to raise it all by yourself?"
"No, sir,"he replied with confidence."There 's another little boy helping me," he replied proudly.

SUPERNATURAL INSPIRATION

Granting that Columbus was inspired to see a new world beyond the boundless main, or Plato was inspired to write philosophy or Apelles to paint pictures or Wordsworth so simply and yet so subtly,to sing -granting, we say, that these men were so inspired as to discover the great harmonies and laws and facts of nature for the time veiled from other eyes, then it follows that David and Paul and John must have been still more specially inspired to discover those realms which we have called for the want of a better word, the supernatural. The source of inspiration in the one case was on a plane with natural; but, in the case of the other, it must have been on a plane with the supernatural.The class of truth determines the quality of inspiration.The poet,painter and the musician may be inspired but theirs is only a natural process; but wherever truths communicated are above the reach of nature,are such as lie upon a plane with supernatural, then it follows that those through whom they have been communicated must have been supernaturally inspired.

INTEMPERANCE

A stockbroker, returning to his office after a substantial luncheon with his client, said to his head clerk, " Hey, Mr, Jackson, the world looks different to a man when he has a bottle of champagne in him. "
" Yes sir," said the clerk, " and he looks different to the world too."

INTOLERANCE

Intolerence, class prejudice and race hatred have taken many forms but in none have these shown such persistence and bitterness as toward the Jew. In no country, also, have these borne more bitter fruit toward that race than in Spain.
Cano, for instance, a Spanish painter, was famous for his magnanimity, but toward the Jew he exhibited a hatred which was almost demented in its blind relentlessness. If his clothes brushed a Jew he would immediately discard them, and his wily servant made a rich harvest by suggesting that during his walk abroad he had unknown to himself, rubbed against one of the hated race.Once when a Jewish peddler was discovered by him in his house he dismissed his housekeeper as a "quarantine precaution," repaved the flooring where the Jew had stood and burned the boots with which he had kicked him out

BLUFFING DEATH

I have heard of a poor man who was carring a load of sticks when he became tired and sat down on the bank. Laying his sticks on the ground, he said: " I am sick and tired of this. I wish Death would come to relieve me ." Instantly, Death slipped up and said, " Here I am. What do you want of me?"
" I want you to help me put this bundle of sticks on my back again," said the poor man.

EGOTISM OF JEALOUSY

Jealousy is a terrible thing. It resembles love,only it is precisely love's contrary.Instead of wishing for the welfare of the object loved,it desires the dependence of that object upon itself and its own triumph.
Love is the foegetfulness of self; jealousy isthe most passionate form of egotism,the glorification of a despotic,exacting,and vain ego,which can neither forget nor subordinate itself

VALUE OF KINDNESS

A little boy,came rushing into the house with a bunch of flowers which he had gathered for his mother.He was only a mite of a boy and did not know that a bit of golden rod and a piece of "butter and eggs," covered with dust and blighted by the adverse circumstances of growing in a city's vacant lot, could not have much value. But mother was out and the thoughtless sister laughed and said; "Mother wont care for those things.They are horried." The child's enthusiasm was chilled and he threw his precious offering away.
It is the motive, not the value of the offering, that counts with our loved ones when they give the best they can.